The ghost coder

You know it's going to be interesting when Tony pipes up with "am I retarded?".  Beyond the obvious answer, this gem went along the lines of..

Tony was trying to test some feature and it turns out there was no code written for it.  Tony proceeded to go on for a good while swearing blind he wrote it and then considering he had an out of body experience and must have written it in a dream (like when Pam dreamt in Dallas that Bobby had been shot!).  Tony swears blind he wrote it (in the dream but clearly not).  Amusing.

This ended up with Tony walking to the kitchen remarking "I'm going to have to write it all again!".  Again???!  Or "now" :)

The bottle of vodka

Tony was reviewing some code today that I guess was pretty good stuff.  People have a different way of expressing when something is cool or well done.  Some say "that's cool" or "great job" or "that is brilliant".  Being as it's Tony we're discussing here though, there has to be something different.

Developer: I've done this...
Tony: That's good..
Tony: Do you have a bottle of vodka?
Developer: ????
Tony: Yeah, when I see something really good like 20 lines of code condensed into one, I just want to chug a bottle of vodka.

Of course.

The hard sell

Tony received a call the other day from someone who was looking to purchase a car. This car was at a local dealer and was previously owned by Tony. The guy had a few questions - well serviced, etc. after answering the questions Tony then proceeded to ask the guy if he was looking to buy a house. Tony is trying to sell his house and has asked everyone to buy it.

It's a great house...but it's in Barrhaven. Meh.

The library in Vegas

While visiting a trade show in Vegas, Tony broke from the group at the end of the day, remarking he was going to find a library. Next morning when asked about said library, it turned out he'd instead found a different establishment - women's mud wrestling! I'm betting there was some interesting reading there!

The working poor

Driving to go to a meeting with a vendor, Tony was remarking how he's being made to pay US and Canadian taxes this year. This is a huge hardship and Tony describe himself as "the working poor". Clearly. With a paid for house, new car, new condo, it's a very apt description. Probably.

Lost at the trade show

After four days in Vegas beating the same path to the Signiant booth each day, Tony wanders in to the booth with this gem ... (haltingly) "...sorry I'm late guys, I spaced out on the way here and just didn't know where I was.  It happens from time to time."

Big Mike Vs the Big Mac

Another cracker yesterday.  Tony and some friends had a bet with one of their circle - a chap called "Big Mike" that he couldn't eat a Big Mac in one mouthful.  Somehow, Big Mike defied the laws of physics and managed to stuff an entire big mac (2 all beef patties, lettuce, sauce...) into his gob in one go!  Tony then recounted how Big Mike then started to panic as he couldn't move his jaw to chew and was essentially stuck.

It ended with Big Mike going to the nearly conveniences and picking said Big Mac out of his mouth and disposing of it.  Bleh.